Then mission accomplished! I replied. 2. 2. When a favorite character in a novel or movie dies, you grieve as heart-rendingly as you would for a friend. Its not a flaw in your make-up. Let them talk and don't interrupt. And when Im about to enter into something I find rather stressful - like sitting through a piano practice with my kids- the conversation might go somethinglike Mummy is going to diffuse some lavender oil this afternoon because mummy really doesnt feel like screaming her lungs out at you. And for some reason, the oils really work. The bathroom scales ruled by life and my daily measure of self-worth would be the number that it showed every morning like a judgement handed down declaring me either guilty (if the number was great than 50kg!!) Anytime you are meeting a group of people for the first time, introduce yourself by telling them your name with soft eye contact You like consistency or, rather, you expect it. Theres less fighting, yelling and screaming in my house. There You also tend to be hyper-sensitive to others attempts at manipulation, calling it out or shamelessly sabotaging their efforts. If this isnt mutual, then someone is going to start feeling neglected or taken advantage of and that can be the beginning of the end. Learn Which Types Are The Brainiest, 21 Soul-Crushing Signs He Is Not The One For You (Even If You Love Him), Guys, Dont Ignore These 17 Signs Of An Emotionally Immature Woman, 31 Ridiculous Things Covert Narcissists Say in an Argument, Make Some Happy Today With These 41 Bliss-Inducing Ideas, 17 Signs Hes Hurting After Your Break-Up, Does Your Guy Run Hot And Cold? Ignore their bad manners, just pay attention to the special points in their speech. Fear is just another annoying emotion youve chosen to accept and move on from. A simple conversation about the weather turns to a deep conversation on global warming, and a chat about a new job turns into a re-evaluation of their entire life. So if you take the view that sleep and circadian rhythm- is fundamentally important to our health, then anything that hinders or disturbs that like artificial blue lights at night- is something to be taken very seriously. You dont see any value in having banal or pointless conversations, even for playful banter. But you are who you are and when someone gets to experience a deep conversation with you, they get much more out of it than useless small-talk. Reach out to organisations that you want to work for. When we are hard on ourselves, we harden. I was deeply unhappythen I discovered this one Buddhist teaching, How a regular guy became his own life coach (and how you can too), What J.K Rowling can teach us about mental toughness, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life, 11 traits people with big hearts all share, 10 things socially intelligent people always do, 10 personality traits of a bad boy all women secretly find irresistible, 10 signs youre a happy person who finds joy in everyday life, Are you an old soul? If you cant spend as much time in nature as you wish to, then bring nature to your house. 6. , read more on our site. You resent anyone telling you what you should or shouldnt be interested in. I started replacing a few of the light globes around the house with amber light globes, I started wearing amber coloured blue blocking glasses at night, and I invested in a few salt lamps that give off a gorgeous amber glow instead of turning the lounge room downlights on. When you greet complete strangers in this way your approach is infectious and it spreads a lighter, softer and happier energy throughout the world. Do you ever come away from seeing someone feeling absolutely exhausted? 3. Craving attention because of your looks is something you simply cant understand. Softly closing the door on toxic relationships, Frida Gustavsson photographed by Benjamin Vnuk. When someone rocks the boat, it can be hard for your emotional thought process to handle, and that means that you need longer to deal with lifes problems. It requires a firm to resolve and get to the finish line when things get rough. Think of a supermarket and youve got the picture. Your deep personality requires some maintenance and that means that you dont like surprises. To respond to the following two questions, you may be extra to individuals who are not as intense. I used to be hard core about doing intense exercise 3-4 times a week. Nowadays, Im very precious about my sleep. Softening into nutrition means eating what I want, when I want, according to the dictates of my body. Most of us at some point in our lives have had relationships with people who leave us feeling utterly drained of energy or yuk inside, or we sense that they are trying to drag us down, or belittle us at every chance. After all, what is wrong with having a strong personality? Its not always possible to avoid the hard topics in a romantic relationship. Like food, not all essential oils are the same! Those who expect you to tone it down 24-7 so they can be more comfortable around you arent going to accept you as you are, anyway. Those who think you need to chill or mellow out arent your people. Most people love small-talk. We only have so much of ourselves to share around and you should surround yourself with people who bring a richness to your life, not leave you feeling drained. Most people have heard of co-dependency, which normally refers to a dysfunctional and enmeshed relationship between two people, where one person is overly responsible for the others emotional world, creating a merger between the two psyches. To harness that, when dealing with an intense person, dont compete with that or try to tamp it down. You cant be satisfied with pat answers or hypocrisy. Did you like my article? As an A-type personality, uber driven, organised and ambitious person, who always excelled at anything I put my mind to, soft is not a word that would ever have been used (either by myself or anyone else) to describe me. Us woman can be so damn hard on ourselves. For you, thats superficial and meaningless. Its hard to feel soft, feminine and open when you are feeling stressed, belittled, violated, disrespected or drained. Bright lights, day and night, is all Ive known. 4. Sure, people love complexity in theory, but in action, it can be really intimidating to other people. One way to do this is using these seven clever tricks to soften an intense personality. We hope you find this article helpful! . However, being fully aware of any potential setbacks will make the diagnosis much easier to handle. If you cant leave your job for the moment, focus on the parts about it that you do love- something must have attracted you to it in the first place. This can be because they are over-excitable, over-emotional, or subconsciously trying to dominate the conversation. My skin is glowing like never before and my kids are so much more chilled out. Heck, I might need chocolate (the best quality raw dark chocolate of course rather than the cheap crappy variety). They also respond back with an emotional reaction e.g crying, feeling guilty, apologizing, etc. While connection with kindred spirits is important (as set out in point 1 above) a connection with oneself is first and foremost paramount. There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. To answer the first one, intense personalities are rooted in the way your mind works and how you process what youre feeling. It also means youre more of an open book. You use descriptive language to express your thoughts and feelings with others. Its hard for people to pull one over on you because you can tell when someone is being insincere. And if anyone asks how you feel, you dont sugarcoat it for them. Why should I be less intense (to please someone else)? Even if the intense person apologizes for being intense, don't agree that s/he is. Youre a creative and complex thinker. Therefore the norms may be more challenging to reach for others. Being hard, it seems, it not something that the women of today want to be. They can also richly reward those who see past the difficult moments to the generous heart behind them. It looks like a jungle in here, observed my 11 year old. You are willing to tolerate painful realities that others might shy away from. It gives you great meaning and pleasure to get as much as you can out of every aspect of your life. She is a far cry from who I am today but letting go of her meant closing the door on a toxic relationship with a friend who was fuelling this fire (point 1 above). Your email address will not be published. Its usually not a cause for concern, although you may need to adjust your parenting approach to better align with your childs intensity. And they dont see a point in even trying to. Youll know it when a good relationship comes along because it wont feel forced and youll feel like you can be yourself. And for some, your intensity can make it hard for them to feel relaxed around you. I need to (insert lame excuse to escape.)" Just as your words are direct and expressive, so is your gaze. If you cant seem to have a normal, emotionally-neutral conversation with them anymore or you feel pressured into sharing when you arent comfortable doing so, its worth addressing this or taking a step back from the situation. A movement where women are recognising their divine power (rather than always playing small), and acknowledging their sexiness (rather than hiding it or being ashamed of it). How did we dial up our masculine energy at the expense of the feminine? Our mission is to empower people through comprehensive knowledge, and skills to achieve their full potential. You dont bother to sugar coat things, and see your honesty as a positive trait about you. This heightened level of attention and commitment can only last so long before it before becomes smothering or just simply burns itself out. Emotional intensity is not a pathology, states Imi Lo of Psychology Today. You bond easily with fictional characters. Reviewed by Kaja Perina. It is more difficult to seek out people who you feel a connection with because you dont even know what you stand for or what makes you tick. The type and intensity of your exercise really needs to suit your body and where you are at in your life. 1. Youve heard the word moody used to describe your behavior, and it annoys you. Sometimes, a child acting moody may lead someone to label them as intense. People have various types of personalities. You dont want to desire something like this. Or how many reminded you of someone you know and love? WebCounter-dependency is a hallmark symptom of High-functioning BPD. In place of relationships that no longer serve me, I have sought out and befriended people who add so much love and value to my life. One of your greatest delights is in learning more about things that matter to you. You can be carried away by something beautiful to the point of feeling enraptured. One of the most complicated parts about having an intense personality is that many people conflate intense people with intimidating people. 2: They are not afraid to communicate their opinions and sentiments, even if others don't agree or appreciate them. People have different personalities, meaning that, for some people, the norm may be more challenging to achieve. These types of people thrive on the pressure a busy schedule gives them and need the intensity of a crammed life to keep going. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. Although you and others can see the beauty and positive qualities of your emotional intensity, there are times when you may want to dial it back or you may need to due to the situation. Impact. Im bossy. After all, youd rather know the whole truth, even if it hurts. If nothing else, the house now looks aesthetically beautiful at night with a soft amber hue. Jelena Dincic Ive met some of my best friends by being intense. Last Updated February 16, 2023, 2:53 pm. . These characteristics may benefit you and your journey of personal development and change. Instead you respect it and nurture it and want the best for it. And Im old enough now to know that I might as well embrace it. In the past I would have slammed the door so hard in Greek style until it shattered into a million pieces making a grand theatrical exit. Kids have seemingly endless energy and are still learning social cues and proper social behavior. It might need more carbs (I opt for root veggies like baked potato chips), or more fat (upping my butter intake or having pure cream for dessert might do the trick), or more protein. Dont worry, it is, but many people are not going to like it when you tell it like it is, especially if its a hard truth about themselves they dont want to admit. Ok, I get that sleep is absolutely fundamentally important to our health so much so that it is relegated to what I call one of the 8 foundations of health. The point is not the exercise itself but how you approach it. Understand that the person in front of you may be louder or seem more confident. But what I didnt fully appreciate was this: the light that is emitted in ordinary artificial light bulbs around your house contains blue light (even though it doesnt look blue to the naked eye). These types may also be very determined to make plans come true. I would roll my eyes. Why do I need to be less intense (to please others)? 29. They might not understand at first and it can be hard to say no to people, but stand firm, set your boundaries, and stick with them before you get caught in an intense situation. 10 Traits Of The Highly Intense Person - A Conscious Rethink Its why people both love and hate you. I confidently know that if I eat 2-3 solid nutrient-dense wholefood meals a day in the context of an active lifestyle with plenty of pure water and sleep, I will certainly not become overweight. If you feel like youre starring in the latest crime drama and are stuck in a confession room rather than having a catch up with your friend or partner, then it sounds like youre dealing with someone who has an intense personality. And since you dont engage in either without skillfully wielding the proper weapons, your opponents tend to lose (or resort to name-calling). Right up to the point of bedtime, when I then expected my bedazzled body to instantly fall asleep. Intense people dont need or even want an easy path to success. Unsurprisingly I had a horrific relationship with food -it would pervade my every waking (and often dream-state) thought to the point of becoming stressful and painful- and I would oscillate from binging to starving myself. But those hard drivers are some of our most productive people. To share a story close to my heart, one of my friends once volunteered to work for her dream company in her dream role as they had no paid role for her, and then when she proved how amazing and indispensible she was, they created a role for her and she worked her way to the very top over 10 years. A sign of stepping into, and celebrating, my feminine, while simultaneously holding fort as an entrepreneur and business woman. Softening into nutrition means that I certainly dont ever punish myself through starvation, or skimping on meals or gorging myself until I feel sick. You like to get to know people on a more personal level and you do that by asking questions. The key here is gently and lovingly closing the door on that relationship. They simply can't control themselves any more than a laid-back person can make themselves driven. For example, someone who was easy to get along with could become irritable. And having a group of kids together can be tiresome for many even, and maybe especially for, parents (amirite?). Because you like to understand things at a deeper level, you are naturally curious. Im constantly frowning. Your powerful thought processes, intuition, and perceptions allow you to see things more quickly and clearly than most. You dont need validation from others. Youve come to recognize narcissists and other toxic people and have learned to be careful of whom you confide in. What a blessed relief to let go of that baby! A highly sensitive person (HSP) is a neurodivergent individual who is thought to have an increased or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Here are some of the most obvious character traits of an intense person. But in action, it seems, it not something that how to soften an intense personality person in of... 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